Trials and Tribulations of Dating

In particular, this is The Trials and Tribulations of Dating (and Rejecting).

I had my second eHarmony sponsored date this past Thursday evening. I was nervous, as is to be expected, because there were a few things about which I was curious. For instance, my date had multiple images of him in Iraq, but I didn't know if he'd been in the Army reserves, or if, for instance, he'd been in the military for the past 20 years (I knew he'd been "out" for a couple of years, however).

I also couldn't tell what, exactly, he looked like, although in his pictures he appeared to be in rather good condition.

All the images were, apparently, from when he was in the military, as he was in considerably worse condition, now, than he was in his images.

I'm not saying he was outright fat, and I know it makes me sound incredibly superficial, but the fellow was a bit short, compared to me: 5'9" to my 5'7 3/4". I have a requirement if you're only 2" taller than I am: you have to be able to physically pick me up and carry me 20 feet.

I know, it sounds silly, but it makes me feel less enormously toweringly tall (which I'm really not) in comparison to whoever I'm dating. And for the record, the longest relationship I've ever been in was with a man an inch shorter than me, but he was, as I like to say, "an impressive specimen."

So, now that I sound really superficial and arbitrary...

(Did I mention the fellow from Thursday also had a bad goatee? No? Well, he did.)

And then I found out about the military stint: he'd been working for his father, but he and his dad had a huge row, so at the age of 33, he found himself without a job, and he decided to join the army for 4 years.

Hmmm...

And now he's working for his dad again, and they're not getting along... again...

So, not much stability, poor relationship with parents, and now he's getting a degree in engineering, but he's not sure which branch he really wants to be in, so he might change his degree...

It was just all so fly-by-night and unsettled. Quite frankly, with my health situation, I have enough instability in my life, so I've decided not to go out with this particular fellow again.

Except, on Thursday, he committed a cardinal sin of first blind dates: he asked if I wanted to see him again to my face (after I'd had a couple of glasses of wine).

How do you tell a fellow who is a good conversationalist and who has just paid for two glasses of wine and assorted meats/cheeses that, yeah, you had a good time, but you have no intention of dating him?

You don't. You say, "Um, sure!" with a distinctive lack of enthusiasm, and then go home kicking yourself because you feel guilty because you let him pay, knowing full well you didn't want to see him romantically.

And then you decide to break one of your own rules of dating (since he broke one - this way you're even) and email him to explain that you enjoyed his company, but that you can't see yourself dating him and back out of the date he's already proposed for Friday (and which you're dreading).

No, I haven't actually emailed him, yet. Because he has a test, this evening, and I don't want to upset his equilibrium beforehand. But you can bet your bippy he'll receive an email around 9 p.m. explaining the above situation in as nice a way as is possible.

And I won't feel guilty for emailing it, either. Because he communicates solely via text message.