Thursday, January 10, 2013

Oh, Broth-er


GAPS Diet.


I started it, and I've been uber-serious about sticking to all of the rigorous requirements: no sucrose, no gluten (easy), no soda (easy), lots of veggies, lots of fresh veggie-and-fruit juices, a few dietary supplements, lots of probiotic pills and probiotic/macrobiotic foods, and gallons of broth.

Ok, so the broth isn't so easy.

The GAPS Guru requires that all broths be homemade.

It takes A LOT of time to make broth, even if it's chicken broth, according to her requirements. For chicken broth, the broth must be simmered for 6-12 hours.

But chicken broth is a breeze compared to beef broth, which requires 12-72 hours to become "fully potent."

No, the 72 is not a typo.

Right now, there are two pots containing 7 1/2 quarts of chicken broth in my refrigerator. That's in addition to the three heads of broccoli that will soon be turned into juice, and the bunch of medium-size beets (which will turn your urine terrifyingly red and send you running to WebMD only to diagnose yourself with horrendous diseases until you remember that beets turn your urine terrifyingly red). Oh, and the organic Bulgarian yogurt I bought at Whole Foods because I spend too much time making broth to make my own sour cream or "yoghurt" or kefir, as GG demands.

I also bought my sauerkraut, because I have neither the room nor the inclination to make it on my own. GG loses again.

A girl can only do so much, you know.

Fortunately, I'm entering worlds of food that I never before imagined. I have eaten beet soup with Bulgarian yog(h)urt - which is delicious - and curried apple soup - except I substituted chili powder for cayenne because they apparently don't make organic cayenne pepper, and I forgot the cumin - and pureed cauliflower, which totally made me feel like a one-year-old. Or a ninety-year-old.

Take your pick.

On the upside, I discovered, today, that a nearby super-healthy food store makes, bottles, and sells their own fresh fruit and veggie juices, which means I might not have to make my own every day.

Hmmm... Anybody need a juicer?

Friday, January 4, 2013

Gap in the GAPS

Oh, Food! How wonderful and yet terrible you are!

My experiment with the GAPS Diet starts tomorrow.

In other words, I'm going to gorge on gluten-free pizza and gluten-free carrot cake, tonight.

Fortunately, after rereading the GAPS Diet's instructions, I discovered that the baby food intro portion is really mostly for people who have horrendous gut issues. I have some gut issues, but I wouldn't exactly put them in the realm of horrendous.

So I get to skip the first two weeks (hooray!) and jump straight into juices, soups, roasted or boiled meats, and baked goods.

Baked. Goods.

The baked goods are mostly made with nut flours, so almond flour (aka almond meal), or walnut flour, or whatever you prefer. Seeing as Whole Foods had almond flour in their bulk foods section, I went with almond flour, because forget having to buy a food processor - in addition to the juicer! - in order to make my own almond flour.

Ain't happenin'.

I did, however, end up buying a better roasting pan.

A couple of years ago, my sister gave me a smallish roasting pan from one of Houston's myriad restaurant supply stores. It served its purpose faithfully until...

Well, until the GAPS Guru forbade GAPS dieters from using aluminum if they can help it. This is particularly the case if the aluminum cookware in question has scratches, as that allows the aluminum to get into your food, bada boom, bada bing: cancer.

Or something like that. I'm still not convinced it's not some sort of hoodoo, but that's just me and my innate skepticism.

Unfortunately, if you don't want an aluminum roasting pan or a roasting pan covered in Teflon (because: cancer!), you have to buy either a stainless steel roasting pan or a copper one.

Have you seen the commodity prices for copper lately?

Ain't happenin'. (again)

Unfortunately, stainless steel ones are also tres cher. Or trop cher. Or something French meaning "too da*ned expensive." Nevertheless, that's what I got. I went to Williams-Sonoma, and I bought myself a smallish roasting pan to match my stainless steel saute and sauce pans.

And it was on sale. And it came with a *free* roasting rack. And it was only my second trip of the day to W-S.

W-S may be about to supplant Container Store in my affections.


Ain't happenin',