Sunday, September 5, 2010

Deranged Over Derian

I awoke this morning (okay, afternoon) and set about accomplishing even more fun things. I mailed a bunch of paperwork to my insurance company in order to get reimbursed a pittance for a provider who doesn't do insurance paperwork herself, and I mail that certified mail, so that required a trip to the post office.

But the post office is closed on Sundays! you cry.

Never fear, for I have discovered the joys of the Automated Postal Center, open 24 hours per day, 7 days per week. If you have a credit card, you too can send mail whenever you want. It's amazing.

Then I got an iced tea from Sonic, because I can't perform errands without iced tea. It's impossible. It's my anti-kryptonite. Or something like that. I don't go in for comic books.

Next was a trip to the office to print off the email I forgot to get yesterday. Ahem. We have a new printer in the office, and it isn't networked to our computers, yet. So I jotted down the info, and left. I was, so far as I could tell, the only person in the building, which left me with a decidedly unsettled feeling.

And off I flew to Target in Plano (a quick detour en route to visit Major Tom). I wanted to buy a cannister for my flax seed and some Dr. Pepper for my apartment and to see what they had left in the John Derian for Target line that went on sale today.

It was slim pickins, folks, and the products were scattered all over the store. I found some bowls and plates and things, but I don't need any more kitchen goods (except for cannisters. For flax seed). So I trotted over to the home office section to see if they had his papergoods over there. I was in luck! The boxes I'd seen online were there, in all their blue and brown faux marbled glory! Huzzah!

As I stood, leafing through the notebooks (soft back, so worthless for my needs) and opening every single box on the shelf, an elderly woman with a bandaid across her nose and a beautiful brooch on her pseudo-Chanel jacket approached and said, "Oh, these are lovely!" She saw the honeycomb patterned box - similar to the two blue/brown boxes I had in my cart - and exclaimed about how pretty it was! Oh, but it was marred by a spot of white!

"There's another one," I reassured her, crouching down and getting it for her from the back of the shelf. She was very grateful, as her mobility was limited. She was leaning heavily on her cart. That's when I noticed that her cart was FULL of John Derian for Target.

"You haven't seen the boxes like this with the lids, have you?" she asked (our boxes have a flap that ties shut).

"No! Are they sold out already?"

"I'm afraid so," she sighed. "I've been all over the store. I thought, surely, if I got here on the first day, they'd have some. But the website says they're sold out, and none of the store associates can find them."

I laughed and replied, "It's good to know I'm not the only one here on the first day."

"Oh, no!" she said. "There's tons of us crazy ladies running around! You're in excellent company."

I wanted to whisk her off for coffee, but instead we just stood and chatted for a little while longer before I headed to the checkout line. I decided not to tempt fate and my checkbook by going to the other areas of the store where there were more products to be found (she had, it seemed, hobbled around until she found all of them).

I might go get coffee by myself, though, and pretend there's a crazy old lady rabidly hunting John Derian with me. I know she'd be there in spirit, anyway.

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