To: Ms. S. Consciousness
From: All former coworkers/colleagues, still employed
Re: Expected daily duties while you are unemployed
We have noticed that you, as an unemployed former coworker/colleague, are not upholding the expected level of performance required of you to keep us entertained while at work. Although we realize that you lost your job because there was not enough work to keep you busy, and that you are actively looking for a job, and therefore really don't have that much time on your hands, we still expect you to provide us with entertainment during the day, viz. sending us humorous YouTube videos and/or web-comics.
Despite our repeated requests, we have noticed a lack of attention to the issue, viz. your poor performance in providing us with humorous YouTube videos and/or web-comics. Due to the fact that the length of your unemployment has exceeded three months, we find no valid excuse for your lack of capability in hunting down funny YouTube videos and/or web-comics. As a result of the aforementioned performance failure on your part, your employment as a Favorite Unemployed Email Correspondent is hereby terminated forthwith.
Currently Employed (Bored) Friends