Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Another Exciting Episode of "Medical Mysteries"


Recently, my health has been a bit tricksy: my Reynaud's Syndrome has been acting up in the evenings, not just when it gets really cold outside; I have a low-grade headache almost every day, beginning about 2 hours after I wake up; I'm now intolerant to milk; and my the left-hand gland in my neck - the one just below the jawline, you know where - is swollen and tender as a... um... tender gland.

So I went to my internist at the Baylor Healthcare Cartel, today to calmly present her with a laundry list of bothersome symptoms - including inability to comprehend and remember information like architectural theory, severe fatigue coupled with an inability to sleep, etc. - and she sat there for a minute and stared at me. Just stared.

I then informed her that, when I was tested for celiac disease by my neurologist over  year ago, I tested negative. But OF COURSE I would test negative, because - in order for that test to work - the tested person has to be consuming gluten, something I had ceased to do some two months prior to the test. (I almost referred to myself as a test-ee, but that just sounded wrong, particularly when used in the plural).

After the little "IgA test doesn't work if you're not eating gluten" discussion, she decided to send me to a rheumatologist, because she's stumped. Also, it would be incredibly harmful to my health if I were to begin eating gluten, again, in order to take the IgA test, so that's out of the question.

As soon as the doctors' lunch break is over, I will be calling to book an appointment with the rheumatologist she recommended - who is not part of the Baylor Healthcare Cartel. Because they're apparently too busy for new patients, right now, and she wants me to get into the doctor ASAP.

I'll be very happy when this particular episode of Medical Mysteries is at an end.

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